Margot Hello All. This is an article I wrote in 2012 that I wanted to also share on here. Hope you enjoy.
12 Important Life Lessons:
1) Awareness – Have focus on the current situation. Focus on thoughts that need focus and not ones that don’t, concentrating on what is needed. Don’t dwell on negative thoughts very long because it adds to more negative energy, but focus on positive thoughts and energy. Be in the moment and appreciate everything. Take your time and slow down to notice detail and experience the entire situation. You see and learn much more this way. Don’t allow distractions, but remain focused. Be totally mindful. Have an empty mind, absent of thoughts (silence within). Pay full attention to each moment. Listen fully to sound and words. Remove auto-responses by being aware of them and choosing the appropriate response. Our subconscious most of the day is responsible for these because of learned habits, many not appropriate in the moment. Due to unawareness, the subconscious acts due to past, not present. Practice mindfulness to change these automatic responses into conscious choices. Also keep in mind that you should rid yourself of inner dialog as much as possible. This distracts you from what you are doing and takes you out of the current moment. Also remember to have a non-judgmental awareness. Do not have opinions in the mind. Nothing is really “good” or “bad’, it simply just IS. Everything just exists as it does. Most opinions are a result of the ego which rejects the reality of what IS, and instead tries to replace this reality with ideas of it’s own desired reality. It doesn’t actually change the reality, but only the perception of how you view reality, if you let it.
~Each moment is a new one. Experience it. Notice all that is. Notice the coincidences and manifestations. Notice the symbols and synchronicities. See everything as it is, with mindfulness. Question all that you do, think, feel. Why did you do it? Was it valid? Where did the idea come from that made you do it? Was it valid? This greatly aids self awareness. By looking deeper within, we learn more about ourselves, our subconscious, and we get closer to the root causes of our actions. At first glance we see a little more, but as we dig deeper, we find great self understanding which aids our development. Consider all of this and understand all you can. Everything is done through awareness.
2) Self Control– Control yourself in all ways. In order to do any of these, there must be Awareness.
~ Emotions – Emotions must be watched. If they are not, many problems will arise. Ask yourself how you should truthfully think, feel, and act about the situation at hand. Consider the entire situation and see the bigger picture. Know what will happen if you act out of negative emotions, and what will happen if you act otherwise. Know the consequences and understand them. Also, be aware of how your emotions affect you mind and physiology. Anything that is known as a negative emotion will cause problems when you dwell on it. The more it becomes you and stays within you, the more it adversely affects you. Do not allow yourself to feel them too long, and know that you are in full control of how you feel, nothing and no one else is, meaning your thoughts trigger your emotions. Consider if your thoughts are true and valid regarding the situation before you allow a lot of emotional energy to be expressed about it. Often times we act emotionally before truly knowing the situation. Try to feel only as you truly want to feel, such as happiness & love. This is important because however you feel, you also manifest. What you feel and think about you bring about in one way or another. You also influence others to feel as you feel and you strongly affect the environment because every person is affected either consciously or subconsciously by those around them. Be aware of how you feel. Try to maintain constant awareness of your feelings so they don’t become buried and stored, which can lead to sudden outbursts in the future.
~ Thoughts – Control your thoughts. Clear the mind of distractions so you can focus and think well. Don’t allow yourself to have a scattered mind, but clean it up so you can focus, make good decisions, and be aware. Meditation is a valuable tool for this. Sit in silence and daily create an inner mental silence for this practice. Also keep in mind that energy follows thought. Your thoughts will manifest through the universe in more ways than one.
~ Actions – Be aware of the body and its movements. Be aware of your movements and how they affect you and your environment. This awareness aids in mental awareness. It is basic watchfulness which helps you remain in the moment. Also, remember to plan ahead as needed. Know what you are doing and be prepared. Have a basic goal in mind to aim towards. Without awareness, you act upon preconditioned responses and not lead by your conscious Self.
3) Believe Nothing, Only Know – Be humble. Make no assumptions. Know that you don’t know the answer to many questions and you only have ideas. Never believe those ideas, just consider them a possibility. Believe nothing; only know things that you Know you know from within. Also remember that our perception is limited. Consider that your beliefs may be wrong and anything that challenges your beliefs is fine because it may bring you closer to the actual truth. Everything is information and should be looked at. Always question your opinions and thoughts on everything. You have such a small perspective and little is revealed to you. The only way to do this is to realize in the big scheme of things, you know little and mainly have ideas about the way things work. Don’t place attachment to the ideas you hold, or it will cut you off from truth. Any idea you hold to be truth, without actually knowing the truth, will cause you to reject truth because you will side with the ideas you want to be true. Always allow new information, even when it goes against the ideas you hold. See EVERYTHING for EXACTLY what it IS.
~ See things from others point of view – When you full want to understand the situation, try to see things from all points of view. Step in someone else’s shoes and see their view. Understand what they see and think and look at the information they provide. We see so little from our view alone, and to also see from theirs opens up new possibilities. Two perspectives see a lot more than one alone. This will not only reveal more to you, but also strengthen your relationship with them and furthermore help you understand yourself more. Understand how your actions affect them. Be seeing this, many problems and conflicts can be avoided. It aids in you compassion and acceptance of others. Notice always how your actions will affect those around you and be aware of the feelings others have in response to your actions.
~Have a childlike view – Have the curiosity of a child. Believe nothing, but learn and eventually KNOW truth. Be curious and seek out information. Be a true skeptic. All information is helpful, but it is your job to find the pearl in the ocean, the truth among the lies. Do not expect a particular answer or want a certain answer because that alters your perception and may prevent you from finding the true answer. Do not care about the outcome, but only desire to find the Truth. Truth comes to those who truly seek it.
4) Understand the Ego – Ego is considered to be the main anti-evolutionary force inside us. It is the cause of selfishness, hate, fear, anger, and suffering. It is like a parasite of the mind which feeds on your negative emotions, and when you are not feeling negative emotions it may try to invoke a situation that can lead to lower vibrational feelings. It is the force within us that causes inner separation, and it rejects the parts of reality that we do not wish to experience. It is what desires us to not accept the moment, but live in the past or the anticipation of the future. Be aware of the ego and do not allow it to control you. Everyone has an ego, but the key is to watch it so you do not allow it to receive energy.
– Ego Boosting – The ego within us desires to always feel superior and right in all situations, but remember how often you have been wrong in the past, and understand that mistakes are a part of learning and growth. Also, never pretend to know what you are talking about or know an answer that you don’t know. This feeling of knowing what someone else doesn’t know may make the ego feel good, especially if it feels it has impressed someone else, but even if it has impressed someone, it is a false impression at that. Find out the TRUTH and the Real answer before sharing something with such conviction, otherwise you aid in spreading dis-information to others. When you find this truth, share with others if you feel it would help them in some way, but do not share for the purpose of boosting your ego. Often times this is done unconsciously, but with maintaining the right awareness, the ego can be watched and this act of watching alone can overcome the ego’s attempts to feed itself.
– Selfishness – If you want to give a gift to someone, truly give it to them expecting nothing in return. To give something to someone and expect something in return is really not service to others, but to oneself. It’s a subtle selfishness and it is not unconditional love. The ego secretly gets gratification by the reassurance of others. Even desiring a simple smile or thank you or being upset or bothered if you do not receive one is the ego’s way of desiring recognition. If someone doesn’t show gratification for the gift, don’t let it emotionally affect you. It is their personal problem, not yours. Also consider it could be just a miscommunication.
– Defense – Everyone makes mistakes, but we don’t need to be defensive about them. When you feel like someone is attacking you, questioning you, telling you that you are wrong, feel peaceful. Don’t feel stiff, scared, worried, agitated, constricted, tense, a frigid. This will stop you from thinking clearly. You need to be in the proper state of mind to think clearly. Instead invoke the feelings of calmness, peacefulness, and thoughtfulness. The answers and way to handle the situation are found within, you just need to be in the right frame of mind to receive the answers. Relax and explain the situation in a peaceful manner.
– Superiority/Inferiority – You are no more or less worthy to life than anyone else. Our ego’s say otherwise and try to make us feel more superior than others, or inferior to others. Due to this aspect of the ego, be create an identity that says “I am different,” and we separate from others. This idea of separation disconnects us from the soul. We are never truly disconnected, but on the inside we feel this and begin to act separate instead of an interconnected whole. The ego is the culprit to separation. It is an artificial idea. In reality we are all equal, all connected, and all one. We are the ones who separate ourselves from all of existence. It is US that choose this and we also have the choice to change this. It is up to us to release this ideas of separateness that we hold in order to let go of this negative aspect of ego.
– Fear of the opinions of others – Be aware of what others think of you but try to understand if those opinions they have come from actual truth, or opinions resulting from their own ego. Don’t let the ego-opinions of others affect the way you feel, especially when those opinions lack truth. It’s the same thing as someone saying the grass is purple, when if fact the grass is green. Their statement lacks truth, so don’t allow this mis-truth to bother you. Understand that others see things from another perspective than you do, and even their ideas of you could be something due to a miscommunication to lack of information. Sometimes their views can be changed by a simple sharing of more information. If not, and the person is just stubborn, emotional, irrational, or whatever the case may be, then it may be best to not spend a lot of time around that individual. Sometimes this is not possible, so whatever the case is, use your best judgment and try not to take anything personally.
– Irrational Fear – Fear is one main source of energy the ego lives on. It consists of a low frequency vibration that has been shown in case studies to lower the bodies immune system, mental abilities, and even cause our DNA to tighten up and not function properly. Living in a state of fear where the adrenaline pumps through the body too much can even lead to death, thus the phase “scared to death.” So the very thing fear tries to protect us from, can even induce death. Feeling fear will not allow us to grow as a whole if we allow it to live inside us. The majority of our worries and fears are not from immediate dangers, but instead possible ideas of the future. We shouldn’t dwell on this feeling of fear because it will tear us apart. When in the moments of feeling scared, fearful, worried, or attacked, take a deep breath and let go of this feeling. Fear exists in the mind and is caused by your thoughts. Also, you are not able to think as clearly in the state of fear and often times you will make rash and illogical decisions. The brain shuts off the important decision-making and thinking parts when this feeling comes up. Fear feeds the ego, so letting go of fear cuts off one of the ego’s main sources of energy.
5) Self-Communication – Create a clear channel so you can listen to your true self and make the best decisions. Learn to feel your own energy, and be conscious and self aware. Practice discernment and find true answers from within. One of the best ways to practice this is meditation. Sitting quietly, calming your self, clearing your mind, then asking yourself questions is a great method.
6) Communication – Communicate well with those you speak to. Be clear and speak the truth. Conceal nothing that should not be concealed and speak the whole truth, or there will be a limit in your connection with those you conceal information from. Explain things well. To avoid confusion in communication, create a conscious and clear connection between you and them. Focus on the love and energy that flows through both of you and how you are connected. This assists communication greatly. Lack of connection often leads to disharmony in communication.
7) Meditation – Control your energy and mind. This also leads to a greater ability to focus.
~ Silence – Set time to be in silence. Train the mind to be absent of thought and experiencing full silence within. Most people without realizing it are addicted to their thoughts and incessant thinking. Mediation practice will greatly help you in many areas of your life. A basic silence meditation is to sit quietly and comfortably then relax your body and mind. Let your thoughts slowly slip away until there is an absence of thought. For a beginner, this may take a little while, but it is well worth the outcome. After reaching a state of inner silence, hold this as long as you can. You will notice at first that a thought will slip in, then you catch it an continue. Over time the thoughts will fade and come up less often. If you try this meditation at least 15 minutes per day, it will help you greatly. You may even notice you think more clearly, have more energy, and be more in tune with yourself and others.
~Breathing Exercises – Breathing exercises are a simple but effective meditation. It involves sitting comfortably then breathing in, holding the breath for a moment, then releasing the breath longer than you would normally exhale. Meanwhile your full focus should be on the breathing and the feeling of breathing in and out. This helps you to maintain focus, body awareness, and mental silence because there is something to have focus upon. During this, you should rid yourself of mental words and dialog, just like the silence meditation.
Another form of this meditation can be the simple focus of normal unaltered breathing. Just focusing on the breath without trying to control the breath. Try both to feel the effects of each.
~ Energy center balance – Another type of meditation is the Chakra Center Meditation. Do this to balance the energies within the body. (Many meditations like this can easily be found online.)
~ Connect – Another type of meditation is what I like to call the total connection meditation. This meditation is about connecting yourself with everything. It starts as the silence meditation does, then you use visualization in order to connect with the universe around you. You begin by calming the mind, then visualizing the connection between you and the ground below you. Feel that strongly. Feel the feeling that comes with that. Then visualize your connection with the air around you, how you feel, how it feels, how your interactions with it feels, and how you are connected with it. Then feel the sky and the entire area around you, how it feels, and your connection with it. Slowly make your way outward, further and further until you have encompassed the entire universe and how you feel as a citizen of this universe, your connection with it, its connection with you, and so on. The effects of this mediation are easily noticeable after performing it. The best way to understand it is to try it. With practice this effect is enhanced.
~Feeling Surroundings – Another technique is to practice feeling energy wherever you go. For example, feeling the energy of those around you, the environment, etc. Practice this when you go to a new room or place. Get used to sensing everything around you and practice it so it becomes stronger. This conscious connection will lead to many new understandings within.
~ Raising Vibration – In this meditation, you start at the silence meditation then use a visualization to help raise your energy vibration. In this visualization, you will bring in energy, and harmonize with the light and love around you. First visualize your body, its placement, its feeling. Then visualize a bright white energy flowing into you in all directions which is filling you with love and a bright healing light. Visualize this light energizing the body, mind, and soul, and healing you in all aspects. This love energy is healing as it flows through you. Visualize what it looks like and how it feels to you. Continue this for at least 5 minutes. At the end, feel your own personal energy and love then send it outwards to the universe. You are filled with healing white light and love energy, and you have sent some back out to the ever expansive universe. This meditation will help you not only to feel better, brighter, happier, and at peace, but it also is good to do in the state of healing when you are sick or not feeling well. Also, during the day, try to maintain a high vibration state. Don’t allow negative things to affect you. Maintain that peace within. When you remain full of this light, you also attract more light to you. Vibrations attract like vibrations. The higher vibration you maintain, the more you attract high vibrations, and the more you repel lower ones. This in itself is a form of protection.
8) Attraction – Understand your wants and desires. Be aware that Wants turn into Actions. Your wants and desires become things! Whether we consciously or subconsciously act on our desires, there is a definite outcome because we attract them thorough the energy we expel. Maintaining awareness of what we attract will give us greater insight into ourselves.
9) Let Go Of Attachments – Remember temperance, everything is changing and temporary. Understand that one day, perhaps suddenly, everything we are attached to will be lost. We should expect it to be lost at some point. The universe is ever-changing and everything is impermanent. Material items, jobs, money, people, health, living situations will eventually change. We know they will eventually be gone, we can love them and appreciate them while they are here. It is best to respect and enjoy everything we have. Be grateful and enjoy each moment. Don’t get too attached but enjoy all of it. Everything changes, as do we. The universe runs in cycles and patterns such as birth, death, and rebirth. You are not a body, but a soul. The body is a tool, and being attached to anything will eventually lead to suffering due to loss of that attachment. Our true self is unattached to such things. It cannot suffer, but can feel love, joy and inner peace. Remember what your attachments cause and maintain acceptance, and when you lose those attachments, you will be able to carry on and be at peace within yourself. Remember the only thing that stays a constant is change.
10) Awareness of Mistakes – Be aware of the mistakes you make. When a mistake is made, there is always a lesson to be found. Become aware of the situation, understand it, and continue to practice the lesson as much as needed. Use each experience as a lesson. Often times we will receive a reoccurring problem in our life due to the simple fact that we were supposed to learn something from it but we haven’t looked at it deep enough to understand the lesson, so it is repeated until we get the point. Sometimes you will need to have a moment of silence in order to notice any lesson, but usually it will come. All you need is awareness.
11) Cause & Effect –Be aware of your actions and how they affect yourself and others. What will happen if I do this? What will this cause? How will this affect others? How will this affect me? What will happen and is it worth it? Should I do this? Should I do something else? Become aware of the consequences to your actions. Consider possible outcomes and if they are worth the action. This helps in preventing many problems.
~ Your affect on others – Always be aware of your tone of voice, wording, and how they affect those around you. Remember that other people may consider something you say as rude or aggressive when you may not. Try to be considerate of others. Also be aware of your feelings. Control your emotions and do not allow yourself to feel negative toward them while talking. Your feelings are often subconsciously expressed through your actions and voice without you knowing it. Also, keep in mind how your actions affect others and how what you do can either help or hurt them. Try to see things from their perspective. Also make sure to explain yourself well so you will have effective and smooth communication. It only requires awareness and prior thought.
12) Practice – Practice all lessons until you master them. This will transform you from darkness into light. Remember your lessons and keep them in mind. Without practice, they may become forgotten or lost. Practice keeps them ever renewed in your mind. Studies show that after two weeks, we remember 10% of what we read, 20% of what we listen to, 30% of images we see, 50% of watching something or actively discussing it, 75% of what we practice by doing, and 90% of what we teach others. As you can see, practice is very important for us to remember information. Once we truly understand something in it’s entirety, we can teach others as well, which in itself is really practice. When we are just learning something, it may help for us to try practicing the lesson in intervals, daily or weekly. If it helps, set a daily or weekly goal list. Also posting reminders in places you often see, such as on the wall or in the bathroom, can also help. Practice makes perfect! Hint: Keep a to-do list, including: lessons, goals, tasks, and other miscellaneous desires. This will set a good habit that will always help you remember everything you need to know. Also remember to keep up on this if you choose to make it a goal. If you often forget to use this, it isn’t of much use. Also it may help to use something like a daily planner or small notebook you can easily carry with you wherever you go.
~Remember Your Goals – Remember what means the most to you. What are you doing right now? What are you doing to achieve your goals? What have you been doing today to work towards those goals? Remember your goals and stay focused. Don’t allow yourself to become too distracted from your goals. Think about where most of your energy and time goes and if it is where it should be. This time has been coined “The Age of Distraction.” We are constantly bombarded with information, commercials, text messages, phone calls, and many other forms of distractions. Other than sleep, it is now rare for the average person to have a much as one hour of time in which they are not interrupted by something. Sometimes we are even so distracted inside that we distract ourselves from important tasks due to some impulse we suddenly have to do something. The average attention span has greatly decreased in the last 20 years alone. As you can see, this has become almost an epidemic. Focus and meditation can help this greatly.
